z-a-d-i-e:

z-a-d-i-e:

i see posts here about how people are so mortified when they are acknowledged as being a regular customer somewhere that they never return. cowards. the employees at taco bell treat me like a celebrity. like royalty. i am their strange little pet customer who gets traded along as staff comes and goes. they know my car before i even speak in the drive-thru speaker. today i was 2 hours late and she ran over and squealed that she “thought i’d left them!” and that she “made my order with extra love!” and you what, she did

it’s funny that this is getting notes again, because last night i went to the thai place in my neighborhood. it’s run by a family and during covid times i ate there literally almost every day. later i cut back on eating out so much and hadn’t been there in two years but last night we went and ate inside for the first time ever and the owner ran over to say hello and ask how i was, and repeated our old regular order. it was sweet. it’s so easy to feel like you are an island, but stuff like this reminds you that you are part of a community.

(via damn-funny)

i-am-shitpost:

“I would buy a mansion” “I would buy designer” “I’m getting a pool” Don’t give me that lame ass if I won the lottery shit. You’re all pathetic. If I came into a significant amount of money, you know what I’d do? I’d go to the Ren Faire, B-line straight to the cloaks. I’m talking floor length, heavy, wool, felted details, huge hooded cloaks that are like 450 a piece and all handmade and I’d get me one. Maybe even get one of the smaller ones that hangs off the shoulders and lands just above the elbow that are 90 by themselves. And I’d be the baddest bitch around because I’d wear that shit everywhere. It’s 115 degrees? I’m sorry do I look like I give a fuck? I have a cloak bitch I don’t need your fahrenheit bullshit. And you’re a FOOL if you wouldn’t do the same.

(via damn-funny)

failbaby:

failbaby:

Rolled up the living room rug to clean my apartment/make dinner on roller skates because I suddenly remembered that I’m an adult with free will…..Life is beautiful

my betrothed just got home…..it’s always Why we’re you using kitchen knives on skates don’t do that again and never How was rollercooking did you have fun rollercooking

(via plastic-pipes)

Demon Horns

weaselle:

I give you: Demon Antlers are better.

First, many depictions of the Devil were lifted from descriptions of various cultures gods of the hunt and whatnot. And most of those gods had antlers.

Second, antlers are savage: they’re not bone, or keratin, they are actually a very controlled bone cancer. They are chaotically spiky and wicked looking. Also, they can chip and crack and break, and they’ll just fall off and new ones will grow. 

and when they do grow back, it’s a bloody gory mess

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and that all just seems very fitting for demons

(via weaselle)

weshallbekind:

weshallbekind:

puppygirl-hornyposting2:

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I posted a comment as a joke response to a friend years ago, definitely before COVID, I wanna say like 2018, saying that you can hold a raw potato to the “vaccine wound” and someone thought I was being serious, screenshot it, and spread it everywhere. So if you ever hear that people believe a potato will remove a vaccine, you now know who to blame for that.


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This was 100% made up by me. I posted this. I personally am responsible for a small conspiracy theory.

https://www.pharmamanufacturing.com/sector/large-molecule/news/11302667/anti-vaxxers-turn-to-potatoes

An article someone wrote about it, apparently it was early 2019.

This is exactly how easily misinformation gets spread around btw. Like there are multiple articles about this half-assed shitpost. I absolutely 100% invented it out of thin air. Zero basis. Just was going through my “potatoes are funny” phase.

(via bigmammallama5)


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